For eight years I worked alongside of Pastor Richard P. Kaufmann in Escondido, California. The number one thing he taught me was gratefulness. He stood firm on passages like Luke 7, Luke 15, Romans 1, and the New Testament letters with the opening remarks that the apostle Paul made regarding the local church. I will always remember Dick's wise, sincere and faithful model of thankfulness in each and every circumstance. This is especially needful----to the 10th power it is especially needful----in times of theological controversy and church squabbles. If you haven't read Ken Sande's The Peacemaker, shut it down right here, and pick up the book. His opening chapter is a line-drive to straightaway center, well beyond the 410 foot fence. You have to read him. In a manner of speaking, the Holy Spirit birthed that book from Sande's keyboard.
In my years of reading and life experience, when it comes to controversy, men are more dominant in one of two areas: they either see the forest or they see the trees. The forest man is the big picture guy. He's good at offering help in the bigger scheme of things. He sees that life is bigger than the controversy, he keeps an eye on the next 3 or 5 years--he looks ahead to what the issue means, he works at giving proper guidance for problem solving with respect to the wider church or community, and he's usually one to make plans, use diagrams and sketch out charts producing a schematic on how the controversy should be seen beyond the present, expected handful of meetings. [When you get through this, you'll be able to testify to other families how faithful God has been.] The trees fellow works log by log, getting each log cleared and out of the way so that speck after speck can be removed so that gentle relief may be brought about. So he examines body language in a conversation, words which are minimalizations, accusatory or exxagerations; he also observes the promise making words and sin owning words of confession that are offered. For the trees man, the controversy is solved by following rules of communication with recognizable, but not necessarily excessive, exactitude. [I didn't realize that you had been stuffing down this offense for so long, if I'm hearing you correctly, your use of the words, “You don't know me,” have made that super clear.]
In the Peacemaker book, Sande does a superb job of using Philippians 4:1-9 as a unit of Scripture for a working case about strife and hurt in the church. Paul has laid out the forest for three chapters of the bigger picture of God's glorious work in the church, in Paul, in Jesus Christ, and in Timothy and Epaphroditus. Finally, in chapter 4, he turns to the trees of a particular case of division between two women in the church at Philippi. Look at the step by step explanation of the verses in how controversy and disruption should be handled; we're to follow the line upon line grocery list of Paul's teaching. Keeping the forest and the trees imagery in mind can help on how we approach controversy. The mutual help that each perspective offers is an asset, both help to build hope in a difficult matter.
G. Mark Sumpter
