Something's Missing in Baucham's Hot Book

Voddie Baucham Jr. provides a great guide for parents and families on courtship, but...

I have read most of the 2009 publication called What He Must Be...if he wants to marry my daughter...

On page 17, brother Baucham writes,

“I believe God has spoken rather decisively in his Word about what our daughters should look for [in a man for eligibility for marriage]. Moreover, I believe there are some non-negotiables that our daughters must be looking for. There are some things a man simply must be before he is qualified to assume the role of a Christian husband. For instance, he must be a Christian (2 Corinthians 6:14); he must be committed to biblical headship (Ephesians 5:23ff.); he must welcome children (Psalm 127:3-5); he must be a suitable priest (Joshua 24:15), prophet (Ephesians 6:4), protector (Nehemiah 4:13-14), and provider (1 Timothy 5:8; Titus 2:5). A man who does not possess---or at least show strong signs of---these and other basic characteristics does not meet the basic job description laid down for husbands in the Bible. Moreover, as a father, it is my responsibility to teach my daughter what these requirements are, encourage her not to settle for less, and walk with her through the process of evaluating potential suitors.”

I like the list. Essentially, Baucham's book elaborates on this list. As I say, I've read well into the 75% range of this book, I am not quite finished with it. Our family, too, has plowed in bits and pieces of this fine book.

But it fails at one super key point. The man that Baucham wants for his daughter manifestly needs---based squarely on the Bible---to be a submissive man.

I am ready to be corrected by his readers. Does Voddie explicate the vital importance of a man to be under authority, to be under elders? I cannot find anywhere in the book where the man needs to be a professing believer under the care of local elders.

Go out and buy five copies of the book. Give them away. It's an excellent work, but it's bad pizza on the topic of men being under authority. The book needs revision, re-working on the subject matter of church membership.

You show me a man who's growing in his ability to follow in the steps of godly elders, with attitudes and actions showing that he's ready to be corrected with their meek and faithful counsel--and then actually heed it, and I will show you a man who's a potential candidate for my daughter.

The first vow a man needs to make before God and witnesses is the vow to be under the care, counsel and discipline of an eldership. That's numero uno.

When he shows that he can follow, then he's growing as a man ready to lead.

G. Mark Sumpter